Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves: Can you imagine what the pitch was for this picture? So we have a board game from the 1970s which everyone over 40yo will know some geeks who used to play this on weekends and throughout the summer, ensuring that they don’t get any sun. I note that Stranger Things have had the main players playing Dungeons and Dragons. The producers cannot blame the cast, as they have acquired the talents of some A-list actors like Chris Pine, Michelle Rodriguez, Hugh Grant, Bradley Cooper and Rege Jean Page from Bridgerton fame. So what happened? Because this is an utter mess. You would think that a movie with a title that is WAY too long, but has Dragons in it would have more dragons! The first dragon on my count shows up at 52 mins!! Huh? You also have Michelle Rodriguez singing. Yes, you read that right. Chris Pine’s singing, if it is actually his voice, will be challenging Pierce Brosnan (Mama Mia) and Russell Crowe (Les Mis) for most cringe-worthy. But this is a sidelight to the main plotline. Basically, Pine plays a smart-mouthed, charming rouge who has a daughter for whom he has been separated. His wife had passed away earlier for reasons that Pine feels responsible. Pine then meets up with other random characters who must make his tiny band which has at least a modest tie into the game (where a group of players with various skills would take on a task, they using various skills like warrior, fighting, magic, thieving etc).

There are of course bad people, seeking power and looking to gain with others losing. Enter the cad Hugh Grant who has taken care of Pine’s daughter, acting as an “uncle” while poisoning her mind about her father.

All this to say that this movie was way too long, way too convoluted, and simply silly. If you are a fan of the game, you will be disappointed, because it really doesn’t have anything to do with the game. If you like medieval fantasy, you will also be disappointed because this is non-sensical and silly. If you hope to see some good acting with stars who are capable of doing so, you will also be disappointed because there isn’t any story or writing provided that gives these performers any opportunity to show what they can do. So overall, an effort that is a head-scratcher and not really surprising to be on Netflix so close to its theatrical release. Don’t be fooled by the Top 10 viewing as listed by Netflix. I would say, take a pass.

The Black Phone: sometimes watching movies and reviewing can be pleasant, and one feels as though you are able to suggest watchable and memorable content for viewers who don’t always watch a lot of movies. The question can come up from time to time from people to me as to “what should I watch out there?” After a week like this, I am saddened that I don’t have much positive news to respond to that. In this instance, Crave is showing this thriller which is reminiscient of other movies notably Silence of the Lambs, or even Stranger Things, but not nearly as good despite the reference. The premise is one of young people disappearing with regularity from a local high school in Colorado. There has been a black van that has been rumoured to be involved, but there haven’t been any witnesses. They kids are calling him The Grabber. The intrigue begins.

Underlying this background is a young male student and his sister with just a Dad, as Mom had passed away earlier and Dad (played by creepy Jeremy Davies) is often drunk and abusive towards his children. There is a supernatural angle to this story as the younger sister has dreams that sometimes come true. Our young man, who has been friends with one of the boys who was just taken, seems to have a connection with a number of the other missing teens.

So what’s with the title? Well, without giving away too much, the old style dial phone is in a room and we are told by the bad guy “it hasn’t worked in years”. It rings and brings in another supernatural element to the story which is more than a little bit strange. Ethan Hawke is also in this movie. He is one of the more versatile actors of this age. He can play a variety of characters and this one is quite different for him. In the end, there were aspects of this that didn’t make a lot of sense, like if there was a black van involved, perhaps the police would be better able to track down a black van parked in an open garage on an ordinary suburban street. Go figure. Perhaps setting this in the late 70s with the accompanying music would explain the lack of technology used by the police. Overall, I cannot recommend, and found the end quite disappointing. I think that there has to be a better way for a young man to assert himself, and grow in character that doesn’t involve a set up like this. Oh, and if you’re wondering, if you choose to engage in this anyway, you would be pardoned in wondering why on earth the pattern of the bad guy was interrupted by the pattern he had established with this situation from before. The movie is a pass for me.

Tom Segura: Sledgehammer: I am a Tom Segura fan. I really like his humour and I think that he is hilarious. He is married to comedian Christina P who I also think is hilarious. Both have a number of specials on Netflix and Youtube. I think that Segura’s earlier work in specials like Completely Normal, Disgraceful and Ball Hog are all very funny with many laugh-out-loud moments. For me anyway, and humour is a very personal thing. I like Jim Jeffries, Jimmy Carr, Daniel Tosh, George Carlin and others who are similar,and all of whom I have seen live. I have been to Just for Laughs, and other comedy festivals.

Maybe it was me anticipating this so much, and building it up in my mind, but this special fell flat for me. There was a discussion about his two young boys, and another chat about his father, but none of them had me in stitches with his familiar delivery. I have laughed more on his more recent appearances on his wife’s podcast Your Mom’s House which can be very funny as well. So feel feel to catch it. It isn’t all that long. I do think that there are other things that he has done, or his wife, that are funnier.